FELTHAM OLD OFFENDERS

Feltham Walking Football Club


Feltham W.F.C Sponsored By Feltham Eyecare Centre www.felthameyecarecentre.co.uk 020 8867 0406

London Cup 2018


London Cup 2018

Old Offenders Round Robin Tournament


A Home Tournament

Who We Are


Who We Are
Feltham Walking Football Club aka Feltham Old Offenders was started in January 2016. The club is open to all over 40's men who love football but can no longer play the beautiful game in the traditional way due to age, infirmity or death....actually we haven't got any dead players yet as far as I know....mind you at our age it's only a matter of time :-)

If you are younger than us - as most people are - please note that friendly games against other walking football clubs or tournaments are usually reserved for players of 50 years old plus. Our training sessions noted below are, however, open to all men aged 40 upwards.

We play at The Power League 5 a-side ground between Feltham and Hanworth just off the A316. The full address is :

Power League, Nallhead Rd, Feltham TW13 6SS

The Wednesday session is from 6pm until 7pm and the Sunday session is from 10am to 11am.

If you would like further information about Feltham Walking Football Club click on 'contact' and send us a mail

If you play walking football or, come to that, you don't but, like us, you are getting older and bits are starting to drop off you could do a lot worse than contact Laura Bayes on http://yimello.co.uk/ and get a sports massage on the bits that are hurting.

Where We Are


Contact


Statement From The Club Chairman


Statement From The Club Chairman
Club Chairman Steve 'Sky High' Lawrence shortly after shooting for goal :

"I could have sworn that pigeon said 'Fuck Me!' as the ball hit it.....then it just swooped sorta like this...then it hit the ground and....well....I shouldn't have worn my yellow boots really....then the pigeon would still be alive....I feel really guilty in a way.....if only I'd cleaned them I'd have got a clean shot and the poor bastard wouldn't have got hit.....I'll have to live with this guilt all my life. I'm so very very sorry."

Player Profiles


Steve 'Sky High' Lawrence *

Club Founder / Club Chairman / Committee / player

Founder member of Feltham Old Offenders he has not, as far as we know, offended since founding the club - well, the police haven't turned up and dragged him away yet anyway. Elected Chairman as he likes to sit down a lot. Plays up front and regularly, on shooting for goal, brings down passing pigeons. Has been known to play really well if his boots are yellow.

Chris 'The Cat' Beech *

Club Manager / Committee / Goal Keeper

Manages Feltham Old Offenders without resorting to either alcohol or valium or both at once - which says something about his patience if nothing else. Has saved shots with literally every part of his anatomy but, as he is not planning for fatherhood anymore it doesn't matter really. Made a terrific full length diving save recently about 5 minutes into a game. We gave him a rousing round of applause when he stood up again about 25 minutes into the game.

Martin 'Shades' Griston *

Committee / player / Goalkeeper

Plays in defence in tournaments and friendlies but prefers playing up front in training sessions. Specialises in toe poking the ball in which ever direction said ball prefers to go. Occasionally toe pokes it into the goal. Which goal is often immaterial. Has been known to, bizarrely, play in sunglasses hence his nickname. Either that or they wouldn't let his Labrador in.

Donna 'Paparazzi' Griston

Treasurer / Committee / Club Photographer / Website Administrator

Specialises in taking the most embarrassing photo's possible which is exactly what we want!!! Also manages the club finances to prevent Chairman 'Sky High' vanishing to The Seychelles.

Adam Griston

Club Mascot

Adam was appointed the official club mascot as he is easier to handle than a dog or a goat or something.....well usually

Neil (Bammy) 'Captain Bambi' Bamforth *

Club Captain / Club Webmaster / player

Other unofficial nicknames include 'Northern Git'. Nicknamed 'Bambi' as, like the fawn of Disney fame, is inclined to fall over to the ground as if pole axed if someone comes within 3 feet of him. As club webmaster he has created this website in The Old Offenders image. Hopefully no Old Offender will thump him.....too hard anyway. Has recently begun playing with a Robocop like leg brace in order to prevent his left leg falling off. Is currently AWOL due to his legs going on a nice holiday without him. It is unclear, to date, when they plan to return.

Paul 'Captain Buster' / 'Bald Pele' Hardy*

Team Captain / player

Our bald Pele looks remarkably like Buster Bloodvessel of Bad Manners ska band fame. We await the day he breaks into a karaoke version of 'Lip Up Fatty' during a game. It may unnerve the opposition if nothing else. Paul plays mainly in defense where he succeeds in protecting his goalkeeper by everything bouncing off him. The ball, players, the referee, passing seagulls et al. After appearing prominently on TV during the protests at West Ham United he has been appointed - due to his media profile amongst other things - as 'Team Captain'. Given what, rumour has it, he did to a West Ham steward, we would be wise to do as he commands! ;-)

Martyn 'B'Stard' / 'Mr. B' / Jasper Benstead *

player

Martyn usually plays in defence. Having advised us he was once known as 'B'Stard' as per the marvellous late Rik Mayall creation we can call him that with impunity. He is the first Old Offender to have three nicknames. Greedy git. Jasper is from his days as a movie extra when he suggested he looked like Mel Gibson. The lady filling in the questionnaire changed it aptly to Jasper Carrot.

Wayne 'Rooster' Bull *

player

Hurtles (at walking pace) all over the place sometimes giving the impression there are three of him. Only human being on the planet who's legs are a blur when he walks. He plays setting an example nobody else can follow as we'd all be too knackered within 5 minutes. Rooster?...a bit subtle perhaps. Rooster Cogburn? True Grit? John WAYNE?...sorry, I'll get me coat...

Paul 'Psycho' Standon *

player

Excellent striker who invariably hits the net several times per game. Often crosses accurately but at such speed the ball has whizzed passed any support before they've actually noticed it. His gentle smile as he mows down the defence (and yes I know there's no contact in walking football but it's accidental.....honest guv) has prompted more than one Old Offender to suggest he's like a striker version of Stuart Pearce hence the nickname. Only be afraid if you're behind a shower curtain.

Dave 'Hair Bear' Welch *

player / Goalkeeper

Plays in defence, occasionally goal. He's recently taken to wearing increasingly outlandish head attire. As there are no rules regarding head attire there's no telling what he'll end up wearing on his head. Often complains about people running in training regardless of the fact he can take one stride to several jogs by most people due to being at least 8 feet tall by my reckoning. Top defender mind you.

Mo 'Speedy' 'Beep Beep' Daili *

player

Mo is one of only three Old Offenders to date to have more than one formal nickname. (Martyn 'B'stard' / 'Mr B' / 'Jasper' and Paul 'Buster' / 'Bald Pele' being the other two). Both are related to him having little legs so, when he's walking, he looks like he's running....which he frequently is....although he isn't really as he has little legs. Plays predominantly in mid-field. Firstly as that is where he is happiest and, secondly, the game would be over by the time his little legs had got him anywhere else.

Andrew 'Penny' Lane *

player

Plays generally in mid-field. One of our youngsters as he's only in his mid-forties. Often plays whilst wearing a baseball cap for no fathomable reason. Better than wearing a baseball bat though I suppose. Quick and accurate passer of the ball. We'll drag him down to our level one day ;-) 'Penny' incidentally is from The Beatles song. I can assure you he isn't a transvestite. Well not on Wednesday's or Sunday's anyway.

Gary 'Gazza' Turner *

player

After many years in Dubai - possibly doing things to camels...or not - Gary has become a regular at The Old Offenders. As he's from Oldham, like me, and supports Oldham Athletic, like me, and is my best pal, I will not insult him too much ;-) Generally plays up front but can also play in defence if everyone else forgets to. His determination to regain his svelt like figure from yesteryear via walking football is admirable if unlikely.

Matthew 'Starsky' Hutchison *

player / Goalkeeper

Excellent goalkeeper and jolly fine outfield player. Throws himself around in goal like a 20 year old. If he's 20 he's had a bloody hard life! Likes to play out wide when not in goal. As our pitch is surrounded by a large fence it's as well he doesn't play too wide. Good all rounder who can play anywhere - which is just as well given we have a few who can't play anywhere.

Mike 'Minion' Parsons *

player

Wears goggle like glasses as per his minion namesake when playing. Occasionally plays in goal but mainly to exercise his back picking the ball out of the net. Far more effective as a dogged defender kicking everything he sees from the ball to the opposition to any unfortunate passing squirrel.

Robin 'Batman' Butler *

player

Robin plays in mid-field and has 'a good engine' - possibly nicked from the bat mobile. His nickname has, sadly, nothing to do with him wearing his underpants outside his trousers which would be interesting. It is a combination of him being called Robin and the tactic - not yet used - of trying to unnerve any opposition by the entire team bursting into the 'batman theme' every time he touches the ball. Never stops running...er...walking I mean....walking.

John 'Busby' / 'Banana Man' Bird *

player

'Busby Bird' is from an old BT advert. As John is of an age to remember it, it'll do. Suggestions of 'Victor' (Meldrew) as a nickname were seriously considered as he is not backwards in expressing his displeasure....in a constructive way though as in 'Bloody useless!!'...well? I reckon that's constructive! Plays primarily in defence and reads the game well. If he could speed read he'd be even better ;-) Someone suggested 'Gandalf' as a nickname given his white mane. Now I know he's good but 'magic' might be pushing it. He has recently become 'Banana Man' due to a seeming addiction to the bendy yellow fruits.

Paul 'Golly' Robinson *

player

As his name suggests he is sometimes a jammy player albeit he prefers marmalade...He almost required the full nickname, so to speak, but that wouldn't be politically correct would it? Spreads himself about well during a game...oh dear...Excellent defender with a good eye for a pass. Not sure about his other eye but he has two good legs which is always a plus for walking football.

Robert 'Screaming Lord' Sutch *

player

Rob doesn't actually scream - which is unfortunate given his name. Actually, with such a famous namesake it's frankly outrageous that he doesn't scream. We will have to speak to him about that. Plays in any position he feels the mood to play in and has a nice touch on the ball - albeit a worryingly quiet one. Rob has a classic suedehead haircut but does not wear Doctor Martin's. Well not during a game anyway.

Warwick 'Grizzly' Gorman

player

Possibly 7 feet tall, possibly 8, Warwick bears an uncanny resemblance to a slimmed down Grizzly Adams. Excellent defender and all around player. Probably as well walking football is a contact free sport. Shouldn't think a bear hug from him would leave you feeling too well! Remains remarkably calm at training as chaos ensues around him. An un-calm Warwick would be a frightening experience!

David 'Franz' Leeming

player

Dave has been around for a looooong time but has manfully avoided having his picture taken for the website...until now! Known as 'Franz' due to him not being German but occasionally 'doing a Beckenbaur' and wandering out of defence to hit a screamer into the top corner. An excellent and intelligent player despite the fact that he smiles a lot - which is most un-German of him if you ask me.

John 'JC' 'Timber!' Clarke

Player

A most welcome addition to our ranks. JC is clearly a good player when he's playing 5 a-side. How good he is when he gets the hang of walking remains to be seen ;-) He has managed to slow down to a sort of scuttle up to now. We anticipate genuine walking within the next few weeks.....Has earned the nickname 'Timber' due to his extraordinary knack of falling over - well, even more than the rest of us anyway...

Mark 'Pastie' Ralph

player and foreigner

Known as 'Pastie' as he's buggered off to Cornwall' hence he's on the "Where Are They Now?" page albeit we know where he is as he's in Cornwall....and, as he keeps popping back to play, he's entitled to be on both 'Player Profiles' and 'Where Are They Now'. Skillful player who would have been, and still is when he pops back, an excellent addition to our ranks if he hadn't moved to a foreign country somewhere a long way away that contains people who talk funny and sheep. Sounds more like Yorkshire to me. He clearly loves us too much to actually properly leave like most sensible people do ;-)

Martin 'K2' Barrett

player

'K2' - so named after the mountain - also appears in our 'Where Are They Now?' section as, for a short while, we lost him. Quite how we managed to temporarily lose a mountain is beyond me. This gives him the honour of being only the second Old Offender, after 'Pastie', to appear in both sections. He will remain in both until we can confidently not lose him again.

Tony 'Fred' Barker

player

A recent recruit who plays mainly in a defensive roll and distributes the ball well - not necessarily to his own team but, either way, he is accurate. Would be an ideal defensive partnership if we had a defender with the surname 'Beak' - as in 'Ollie Beak' and 'Fred Barker' for those too young to recall the marvelous puppets of TV's yesteryear. Tony, at his age, will undoubtedly remember them so beware. He might just bite your ankles if you try to walk past him!

Paul 'Slinky' Sanders

player

Has an extraordinary ability to wiggle his hips one way and then go another - possibly a belly dancer in a former life? Walks so smoothly he's almost cat like but, as we already have a Chris 'The Cat' Beech, 'Slinky' will do. Anyway, it rhymes better :-) Skillful player who generally passes well to someone on his own side which is always a plus. Also good at organizing the play - well, better than most can anyway.

Andy 'Big Top' Barrett

player

A big chap who also turns out for Q.P.R. walking football club. We first noticed him at our inaugural competition when he did just that - mind you, you can hardly miss him. Almost impossible to walk around him without leaving the field of play entirely. Good organizer who reads the game well. Attacks and defends with equal gusto. Good distributor of the ball after gaining possession - usually through an opposition player bouncing off him.

Chris 'Blaster' Bates

player

Nicknamed 'Blaster' after the legendary demolition man of the 60's and 70's who had extraordinary expertise with explosives. Our 'Blaster' - at least to date - has not shown any talent with explosives but, it has to be said, he does occasionally hit the odd explosive shot - sometimes in the general direction of the opposition goal. He also has the ability to explode the oppositions game plan with a smart pass through the midfield. He may be banned from playing for a couple of games around November 5th - just to be safe.

Tommy 'Gun' Davis

player

Compared to most of us Tommy looks about 10 years old. Skillful striker who often drifts wide - the fence stops him drifting into the road. Has the ability to look up before passing. Mind you, at his age he hasn't got the neck problems us old farts have. Might have to use a marker pen on his face to make creases so he looks older for any friendlies / tournaments.

Luke 'Skywalker' Shirnia

player

Another youngster - better get a couple of marker pens for aging.... Luke plays all across the mid-field (obviously only in one place at a time). Skillful feet, well, one of them is anyway. Disgustingly slim and comparatively fit he's a bit like the 'after' picture to the rest of us 'before' pictures post diet. Might have to include mass burger eating in his training regime to bring him into line with the rest of us.

James 'The Bee' Gassup

player / Goalkeeper

James has lately taken up position in goal - mainly in the centre of it but he does occasionally wander to the left and right of it. When not in goal he tends to play out on the wing. We know he does because he shouts loudly so we can't miss him out there. One of our youngsters he is sadly inelligible for tournaments but, as a fan of Brentford, he needs all the support we can give him.

Laura Bayes

Physiotherapist and Sports Massage

You can contact Laura to help stop the old bits dropping off through sports massage on http://yimello.co.uk/

Players marked with * are full club members and eligible for tournaments.

The annual membership for full club members is £20.

Please note. To be fully eligible for tournaments it is necessary to play at least 2 Wednesdays and 2 Sundays per month. If work commitments make this impossible then, with the agreement of the Chairman (Sky High) 4 sessions on a Sunday or a Wednesday or a mix will be acceptable.

Where Are They Now?


Sunil (Sunny) 'Twinkle Toes' Taylor:Permanently Injured apparently

Twinkle Toes stated he was injured back in around 1066 and all that and has only ever been seen again on various golf course around the globe as he photo bombs professional players. We miss his traditional war dance of skipping around the ball whilst either accidentally or intentionally not touching it at all for some unfathomable reason.

Sunil (Sunny) 'Twinkle Toes' Taylor

Nic 'Nick Nick' Saunders:Not a policeman

Should be a policeman but isn't - Nick Nick? - mind you, he policed the midfield very well and has two good feet, which is always useful when you're walking. I mean to say, one good foot and you'd have to hop or something. Nick Nick has now left our ranks and moved to Liverpool - possibly in search of his hubcaps. He claims he has gone to Liverpool to work. Really? Liverpool? Scousers? Work? If we ever see him again no doubt he will be unintelligible and carrying a gun :-)

Nic 'Nick Nick' Saunders

Martin 'K2' Barrett:How could we lose a mountain???

Martin is definitely still around as we speak on FB or text or whatever. For some reason he has vanished from his regular Sunday appearances. Quite an achievement to vanish when you're a human equivalent of a bloody mountain! K2's on't right as you look by the way....that's just his finger on't left...

Martin 'K2' Barrett

Barry 'Comet' Vango:Possibly driving around the solar system

Barry is a chauffeur. As such he spends much of his time in a car. it is quite possible he locked himself in accidentally in 2016. Anyway he hasn't been seen since. He is certainly alive as he posts on Facebook - unless of course, someone ran him over with his car and has nicked his identity.

Barry 'Comet' Vango

Chris 'Crazy Legs' Pennell:Stopped coming because he possibly hates us

Crazy Legs decided he wasn't enjoying playing with us anymore. No further explanation was forthcoming. I suspect he just didn't like Steve.....or Chris.....or Dave.....or Paul.....or me.....or someone else. Crazy Legs has recently chastised me for suggesting he hates us. It's a joke Crazy Legs. That's all. Come on! Give us a smile mate! :-)

Chris 'Crazy Legs' Pennell

Surj 'Spirit' Sondh:He came, he played he never came again

Surj seemed to enjoy his debut but, for some unknown reason, he never returned. He may, of course, be deceased but, if so, he needs to pay the standard club fine of 20 pence for dying without giving at least a fortnights notice. Disgraceful behaviour if he has done such a thing!

Surj 'Spirit' Sondh

Mark 'Pastie' Ralph:May now be wandering around wearing a surfer t-shirt and drinking scrumpy.

Known as 'Pastie' as he's buggered off to Cornwall' hence he's on the "Where Are They Now?" page albeit we know where he is as he's in Cornwall. Skillful player who would have been an excellent addition to our ranks if he hadn't moved to a foreign country somewhere a long way away that contains people who talk funny and sheep. Sounds more like Yorkshire to me.

Mark 'Pastie' Ralph

Ricky (Monty) 'Drifter' Montaux:

Did a lot of goal hanging - you can tell he's a mate of Sky High's ;-) Accurate passer of the ball. Was very good at drifting into a good position without anyone else noticing. In fact he did so much drifting he was in danger of breaking into song sometimes...."Saturday night at the movies, who knows what picture we're seeing...." get it? Drifting? Drifters song? Oh forget it...I'm too subtle for you lot ;-) He's moved to Norfolk so had to leave our ranks. Decided he was more interested in broads......sorry....I'll get my coat....

Ricky (Monty) 'Drifter' Montaux

Glenn 'Massive' Mitchell:

Came on a free transfer from Staines Town Strollers because we're better company. Anyone from Staines just has to be known as 'Massive' really. Blame Ali G not me. A skillful player comfortable in defence or mid-field or attack and passed the ball well. Even more impressively he tended to pass to one of our players rather than the opposition! Recently vanished for some unknown reason. Mulder and Scully have been informed.

Glenn 'Massive' Mitchell

Marcus 'Birds Eye' Ross:

He played mainly in defence and occasionally goal. Sturdy defender who did a passable impression of an immovable object which was excellent if the opposition ran into him. Not quite so excellent if they ran...I beg your pardon...walked around him. His enthusiasm was contagious, fortunately not in an influenza type way. 'Birds Eye'? Well, they always did better fish fingers than Ross did.... No idea where he went. Possibly trapped in a freezer?

Marcus 'Birds Eye' Ross

Ian 'Cue Ball' Selby:

It could be said that Ian was known as 'Cue Ball' due to his excellent ability to cue the ball up to another player with such extraordinary accuracy that Christiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi themselves would be impressed. Sadly, it's because he is bald. No idea why he stopped coming - unless he's grown hair and is still coming as someone else - cue Twilight Zone music....

Ian 'Cue Ball' Selby

John 'Quisling' Murphy:

John plays for Staines Strollers and occasionally appeared at our games. An excellent striker of the ball and an all round good egg. However, as a Staines Strollers player there was a suspicion he was indeed a Quisling and was attempting to pass on our tactics for when we play them again. He seems to have permanently moved back to Staines Town Strollers now so was he or wasn't he? We'll never know..... Could the twinkle in his eye have been a hidden camera????

John 'Quisling' Murphy

Josh 'Cannonball' Muncaster:

Josh was our original 'youngster' having been around almost since the club started. Known as 'Cannonball' due to his incredibly hard shots that goalkeepers invariably knew nothing about as A) they hit the net before the keeper has seen them or B) they hit the keeper who would take at least a week to recover from the concussion. Josh did try not to knock out too many keepers though, in fairness to him. Probably on the grounds that he'd have be the only man left standing by the end of a game. Now works permanent night shift so can sadly no longer attend. What is he? A vampire hunter??

Josh 'Cannonball' Muncaster

Club Discipline


The standard club fine for a breech of club discipline will be levied at 20 pence.

Club fines can only be levied by the Club Chairman or Club Manager.

Fines will be levied by one of the above for behaviour considered inappropriate for an Old Offender.

For example : Failing to consume any alcohol after Wednesday training. Mooning. Playing whilst dressed as Britney Spears. Dogging within sight of the pitch.

The decision to fine a player 20 pence for a breech of discipline once made by the Chairman or Manager is final and no appeal is permitted.

If a breech of club discipline is considered very serious, the Club Chairman will be responsible for the ultimate fine of debagging and radishing.

The Thoughts Of Chairman Sky High


The Thoughts Of Chairman Sky High
Chairman Mao had a little red book.

Chairman Sky High has yellow boots....sometimes. 

This suggests he may not be a communist.....or Chinese.....

Chairman Sky High's thought processes tend to be as follows :

"I must stop hitting pigeons when I shoot for goal"

"I must drink more beer at The General Roy"

"I must stop using Whatsapp when I'm pissed"

"I wonder whether I could get away with burying Captain Bambi under one of the new floors I lay"

"Nobody seems to understand....MY jogging is actually walking!"

Other thought processes of Chairman Sky High are a mystery to psychological science.

The Thoughts Of Banana Man


The Thoughts Of Banana Man
Banana Man is a much valued member of The Old Offenders and, to put it mildly, we wouldn't be the same without him.

After kicking someone in the shin and being reminded walking football is a non-contact sport :

"Well I'm not going to let him score am I?"

After tripping someone up and being reminded walking football is a non-contact sport :

"Well I'm not going to let him score am I?"

Banana Man's criticisms are always constructive

"Fucking useless!"

"Bloody terrible!"

"Idiot!"

"Pathetic!"

"What are you doing you prat??!!"

Never leave Banana Man......it would be boring without you!

FWFC Supporters Club


Donna Griston and Carol Bamforth


Supporters

Officially cheering us on, they tend to miss much of the action by gossiping about new nail bars opening and other such strange things....Still, they make the effort and turn up....providing it isn't raining

Max Marcheselli & Jacqui Bamforth


supporters

After enjoying cheering us in in the tournament in Kent they insist they will watch us again....possibly in this life time. I can assure you they will always cheer us on.....possibly with "Really?" - Max or "You're embarrassing me again daddy" - Jacqui. Still, any support is better than none eh? ;-)

Kerry Amanda Smith & Shona Semple Felton


supporters

They have promised to appear in ra-ra skirts and wave pom-poms the next time we appear at the tournament in Worcester Park.

God


supporter

Well? It was either us or Oldham Athletic......

Barnsley Sime


supporter

As the owner of Solid Front Radio, Barnsley Sime has promised to regularly mention us and play tunes for us such as 'One Step Beyond', 'All The Madmen' and 'Lip Up Fatty'.

Links


Feltham Old Offenders on Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/groups/FelthamWalkingFootball/

Feltham Old Offenders on Twitter
https://twitter.com/oldoffenders

Feltham Old Offenders on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKk-jVjbgPk8x2HYc48tH-g

FWFC Sponsors : Feltham Eyecare Centre
http://www.felthameyecarecentre.co.uk/

Laura Bayes Sports Massage
http://yimello.co.uk/

Middlesex FA  (Walking Football)
http://www.middlesexfa.com/players/walking-football

Staines Town Strollers WFC
https://www.facebook.com/stfcstrollers/

Uxbridge Amblers WFC
http://www.uxbridgeamblers.co.uk/

Bay City Strollers WFC - in Kent
http://baycitystrollers.co.uk/

Barnet Walking Football Club
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1053620981356184/

Walton Swifts Walking Football Club
https://waltonswifts.co.uk

Walking football in Hayes
https://www.walkingfootball.com/calendar/event/137-botwell-green-walking-football-middlesex/

Walking football magazine
http://www.walkingfootballunited.co.uk/

Walking Football Tours
http://www.walkingfootballtours.com/

Middlesex FA representative for walking football
e.mail : Andrew.Perren@middlesexfa.com

FWFC Store


Cheshunt Tournament 2018


The tournament squad

We came, we played we.....er.....didn't win. Mind you, we didn't always lose either! Terrible start to the tournament as we were trounced by Barnet A. We did improve as the tournament proceeded - proof being Barnet A only just nicked it 1 - 0 at our second meeting....... L-R Back : Martin 'Shades' Griston, Martin 'Jasper' Benstead, Paul 'Captain Buster' Hardy, Chris 'The Cat' Beech, Wade Lewis, John JC 'Timber!' Clarke. L-R Front : Neil 'Bammy' Bamforth, Rob 'Screaming Lord' Sutch, Andrew 'Penny' Lane

Paul 'Captain Buster' / 'Bald Pele' Hardy

Team Captain 'Buster' tried manfully - and with some success - to get the team playing after a disastrous first game when Barnet 'A' battered us. As they only nicked the second against us with a late goal we clearly improved as the tournament went on. Captain 'Buster' remained extraordinarily calm as chaos ensued around him and guided us into a reasonably respectable performance overall. Played 6, drew 3 and lost 3 but, two of the losses were to single goals. Given 'Buster' and 'Bammy' were both clearly carrying injuries, it wasn't actually such a bad showing.

A controversially disallowed goal!

Chairman Sky High refereed two of Feltham's games and controversially disallowed a superbly taken goal by Andrew 'Penny' Lane. Admittedly Bammy cheated to give us an edge but he just knew Sky High wouldn't notice as he called 'Leave it!' and the Barnet 'B' player did so. This let Bammy through and a swift pass to 'Penny' and in it went. Barnet 'B' understandably objected to Bammy's cheating - albeit they understood as he is a northerner. After Chris 'The Cat' grassed Bammy up the goal was finally disallowed.

Player of the Tournament

After a particularly shaky opening game, everyone knuckled down and, as the tournament progressed, a number of players performances improved. Martin 'Jasper' Benstead started playing well, despite suffering a quite horrendous tackle from a piece of astro-turf that viciously tripped him up. Wade Lewis, our debutant keeper made several excellent saves - I haven't thought up a nickname for him yet - and Andrew 'Penny' Lane played well throughout in mid-field. Without a shadow of a doubt though, our player of the tournament award went, deservedly, to Rob 'Screaming Lord' Sutch who did, on occasion, come close to screaming at the teams early poor form.

Old Offenders Inaugural Tournament


The first but certainly not the last

The first but certainly not the last

The Old Offenders hosted their inaugural walking football tournament on October 8th 2017 and it was a huge success.

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Every team present complimented Feltham on the tournament organisation.

Every team present complimented Feltham on the tournament organisation.

Basically the one's who had attended the Uxbridge tournament the previous week said ours was much better so ner ner ne ner ner Uxbridge ;-)

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The Group Of Death

The Group Of Death

Tournament finalists Watford Whites and Queens Park Rangers were both in the same group as one Old Offenders team. Oh dear ;-)

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Unsung hero James 'The Bee' Gassup

Unsung hero James 'The Bee' Gassup

Being too young to compete with us, James 'The Bee' dived in at the deep end at coordinated all the results

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Here's to the next Old Offenders Tournament!

Here's to the next Old Offenders Tournament!

Feltham set a standard for tournaments that others will, hopefully, follow.

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Barnet Tournament 2017


We came, we played, we were unbeaten runners up. Well done chaps!!!!

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In the first game The Old Offenders faced their sternest opposition in Barnet 'A' team. Debutant in a tournament Paul 'Bald Pele' Hardy was particularly strong in defence

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Martin 'Shades' Griston put in a stirling shift in defence whilst Bammy aka 'Captain Bambi' hit the winner!

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Kent Tournament 2017


The team - apart from Chris 'The Cat' Beech who was buying a burger at the time ;-):P5 W1 D4 L0

Excellent performance all around from The Old Offenders. Unbeaten and unbowed. Particularly good performances from Dave 'Hair Bear' Welch and Wayne 'Rooster' Bull but everyone put in a great shift and one player in particular was voted 'Player of the Tournament' unanimously by the manager, chairman and club captain.

The team - apart from Chris 'The Cat' Beech who was buying a burger at the time ;-)

Steve 'Sky High' Lawrence:about to score for Feltham

Large goalkeeping areas and slightly smaller goals made scoring very hard indeed!

Steve 'Sky High' Lawrence

All the games were timed at 10 minutes:this didn't allow for any errors as going a goal down meant almost certain defeat.

The Old Offenders defended superbly with Dave 'Hair Bear' Welch, Martin 'B'stard' Benstead, Glen 'Massive' Mitchell, Neil 'Bammy' Bamforth' and Martin 'Shades' Griston sharing the duties over the games played. Chris 'The Cat' Beech had only two saves to make throughout - both of which he made magnificently - showing how well we defended.

All the games were timed at 10 minutes

Undefeated and sort of cheated -:Despite not being beaten, as three teams failed to show, we were given 3 points for one game whilst Leyton Orient were given 6 points for two.

As a result, Leyton Orient were awarded a semi-final slot at our expense - even though we worked for all bar one of our results. Still, it was a marvellous tournament and very well organised and attended. There must have been around 16 teams over the three groups. A burger and a beer to round off the day and The Old Offenders felt justifiably proud that they had improved as a team and performed extremely well in every game. Here's to the next tournament!!!

Undefeated and sort of cheated -

Mo 'Speedy' / 'Beep Beep' Daili made Old Offender history -:by being the first Old Offender ever to be sent off!

It was not, incidentally, his fault. Although he had been picked up by the referee for breaking into a jog twice, his third and final caution equalling a sending off was unfair. He had his heel clipped by a defender and the resulting 'jog' was merely an attempt to regain his balance. Captain 'Bammy' somehow managed to not inform the referee he was a "f*ck*ing d*ckh**d" thereby not being the second Old Offender sent off - actually, Captain 'Bammy' avoided swearing at all throughout the tournament which also made some kind of history :-) Paul 'Psycho' Standen gave the impression there were three of him by popping up all over the pitch whilst Mrs Psycho, Mrs Hair Bear along with Captain Bammy's daughter and her partner cheered us along as did Speedy's son number 1. As and when this tournament is repeated we will be back!

Mo 'Speedy' / 'Beep Beep' Daili made Old Offender history -

Oh yes.....:almost forgot....

The 'Player of the Tournament? He will be announced and presented with his trophy at our training session on Sunday 21st...

Uxbridge Tournament 2017


The Uxbridge Amblers held a walking football tournament and Feltham Old Offenders went along full of confidence and vim and vigor. Oh well. Sometimes you should just stay in bed on a Sunday eh? ;-)

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2nd Uxbridge Tournament 2017


We came, we played, we lost

We came, we played, we lost

Well, we lost unless Chairman Sky High and Captain Bambi were playing anyway ;-)

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Steve tried to talk sense to the the team

Steve tried to talk sense to the the team

Steve gave up talking sense to the team

Steve gave up talking sense to the team

Captain Bambi tried talking sense to the team

Captain Bambi tried talking sense to the team

Possibly they couldn't entirely understand northern speak?

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The team duly ignored Sky High and Captain Bambi....

The team duly ignored Sky High and Captain Bambi....

...and duly lost. Classic moment? Captain Bambi "You need to defend Massive!" Massive "We need to score!" Captain Bambi "If you don't defend they'll score again!" At that moment they scored. The moral of the story being 'shut up and listen'. So there.

Martin 'Shades' Griston was rightly voted player of the tournament

Martin 'Shades' Griston was rightly voted player of the tournament

Shout outs to Robin 'Batman' Butler and Dave 'Hair Bear' Walch...Welch...oh whatever...anyway...they also played well. Plus a thanks to Donna 'Paparazzi' Griston for the pics.

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Walking Football History



Walking Football was introduced to the general public around 2011 and credited to Chesterfield FC community Trust, although there is evidence of the game being played as early as 1932 in a match between Derby and Crewe Railway Veterans.

The “Real” version of walking football is supposed to be a slower safer version of small sided football aimed at older Gentlemen aged fifty years of age or more.

Most footballers stop playing the game in their mid-thirties to early forties due to the increased physical demands and the injuries that follow. There are veterans’ tournaments for 35 years plus but again there comes a day when this is no longer an option and therefore over 50s Walking Football was formed.

Following the TV advertisement for Barclays Bank Digital Eagles which was filmed in Cove, Hampshire, the sport was introduced to a nationwide TV audience and an explosion of interest led to clubs up and down the country being formed.

Football Quotes


“I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.” –  Mark Viduka.

“There is no in between – you’re either good or bad. We were in between” – Gary Lineker

 “Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.” –  Metro Radio, Football.

“That’s great, tell him he’s Pele and get him back on.” – John Lambie, Patrick Thistle manager, when told that his striker did not know who he was after suffering a concussion

“The rules of soccer are very simple, basically it is this: if it moves, kick it. If it doesn’t move, kick it until it does.” – Phil Woosnam, former Welsh football player and manager

"We lost because we didn't win". ―Ronaldo.

"We didn't underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought". ―Sir Bobby Robson.

“The thing about football - the important thing about football - is that it is not just about football.”  - Terry Pratchett, 'Unseen Academicals'
 
“Football is the ballet of the masses.”  - Dmitri Shostakovitch
 
"Lets kick some balls!" - Millwall FC Supporters Club

"Walking Football isn't a new sport....Oldham Athletic have been doing it for years!" - Bammy

Website Comments


Shaun:Barnet Walking Football Club

Congratulations on your new web site From all at Barnet WFT https://www.facebook.com/groups/1053620981356184/

Graham Sellors:Web Designer

Your new site is perfect and definitely captures what the club is about. I can build professional sites in minutes 'cos I've been doing them since 1996. But a pro couldn't produce something so quirky and heartfelt. Top man😎😎👌🏻

Joey Barton:Professional Footballer and Psychopath

And everyone thinks I'm nuts!!!

Prince Goldenbootero Muchogoalbanger:Dodgy Nigerian

I am good player and I want to come to England. If you send £1,000,000 to my bank account in Nigeria I will come and score many goals for you. Honest. If you call me on 0077765 73219000 I will give you account where to send money. Best Regards Prince Goldenbootero Muchogoalbangar

Leave A Comment


  • 03/25/2017 04:44 PM

Click on 'Comment' to leave one - but be nice or we'll set Psycho on you 😋

Walking Football Rules (Good for insomnia)


Law 1 The Field of Play

General Principle Where not stated, the normal IFAB Laws of Association Football apply with exceptions notably that there is no offside in Walking Football. The Pitch Walking Football may be played with or  without barriers. Dimensions: The playing area must be rectangular. The length of the touchline must be greater than the length of the goal line.
For 5 and 6-a-side football the following dimensions are recommended Length: minimum 25m  maximum 50m Width:  minimum 16m  maximum 35m For 7-a-side football the following dimensions are recommended Length: minimum 50m  maximum 60m Width;  minimum 30m  maximum 40m Area Markings The playing area is marked with lines. The two longer boundary lines are called touchlines. The two shorter lines are called goal lines. All lines are 8cm wide.
The playing area is divided into two halves by the halfway line. The centre mark is indicated at the midpoint of the halfway line. A circle with a radius of 3 m is marked around it.
A penalty area is defined at each end of the pitch  as follows:
A semi circle of 6m radius shall be drawn from the centre of each goal line. The extremities of these semi-circles should reach the goal line, barrier or wall regardless of whether or not the goal posts encroach onto the playing area. Penalty Mark A penalty mark is drawn 6m from the midpoint between the goal posts and equidistant from them. The Corner Arc Where barriers do not surround the playing area, a quarter circle with a radius of 25cm from each corner is drawn inside the playing area.

Law 2 The Ball

Qualities and Measurements The ball is:
• spherical • made of leather or other suitable material • size appropriate to the group playing
Replacement of a Defective Ball If the ball bursts or becomes defective during the course of a game:
• the game is stopped • the game is restarted by dropping the     replacement ball at the place where the first   ball became defective
If the ball bursts or becomes defective while not in play:
• the game is restarted according to the Laws
The ball may not be changed during the match without the permission of the referee.

Law 3 The Players

A match is played by two teams, each consisting of not more than the following number of players and substitutes for each format: 5-a-side =  5 players per team and 3 substitutes  (total of 8 players) 6-a-side =  6 players per team and 3 substitutes  (total of 9 players) 7-a-side =  7 players per team and 3 substitutes  (total of 10 players) Substitution Procedure The maximum number of substitutes permitted  is three.
The number of substitutions made during a game is unlimited. A player who has been replaced may return to the pitch as a substitute for another player.
Substitutions should take place when play is stopped or during play if the second official is involved in refereeing the game. This will be determined by the Competition Rules.
A substitution is made when the ball is in or out  of play, for which the following conditions must  be observed:
• the player entering the playing area may not do  so until the player leaving the playing area has    passed completely over the boundary line • where barricades are used, the players must use    the opening onto the playing area • a substitution is complete when the substitute  enters the playing area from which moment the    substitute becomes a player and the player who is   replaced ceases to be a player
A substitute is subject to the authority and jurisdiction of the referee, whether called upon to play or not. Changing the Goalkeeper Any of the players or substitutes, may change places with the goalkeeper. The following conditions must be observed:
• the referee must be informed before the change    is made • the change may only be made during a stoppage    in play • the replacement goalkeeper must wear a jersey    which distinguishes them from all other players    and the referee Infringements/Sanctions If, while a substitution is being made, a substitute enters the playing area before the player being replaced has completely left:
• play is stopped • the player being replaced is instructed to leave    the playing area • the substitute is ‘sin binned’ for the agreed period • play is restarted by an indirect free kick to be    taken by the opposing team from the place where   the ball was situated when the game was stopped  However, if the ball was inside the penalty area,    the indirect free kick is taken 3m from the penalty   area line, at the place nearest to the position of the ball when play was stopped.

Where barricades are used; if, while a substitution is being made, a substitute enters the playing area or a player being replaced leaves it from a place other than the recognised opening in the barricades:
• play is stopped • the substitute is ‘sin binned’ for the   agreed period • play is restarted by an indirect free kick to be    taken by the opposing team from the place where   the ball was situated when the game was stopped.  However, if the ball was inside the penalty area,    the indirect free kick is taken 3m from the penalty  area line, at the place nearest to the position of    the ball when play was stopped
Validity of a Match – Playing Numbers A match should not be considered valid if the playing strength of either team is permanently reduced by:
• more than two players for 5–a-side • more than two players for 6-a-side • more than three players for 7–a-side
However, this should only apply when players are permanently excluded or lost through injury rather than within the ‘sin bin’ for a two minute suspension.

LAW 4 The Players’ Equipment

Safety A player must not use equipment or wear anything that is dangerous to themselves or another player, including any kind of jewellery. Jewellery must be removed. Basic Equipment The basic compulsory equipment of a player is:
• a jersey or shirt • shorts or track suit trousers • socks • shinguards • footwear – which is subject and appropriate to    local conditions and surface type Shinguards • are covered entirely by the socks • are made of a suitable material (rubber, plastic or    similar material) • provide a reasonable degree of protection Goalkeepers • the goalkeeper is permitted to wear long trousers • each goalkeeper wears colours which easily    distinguish them from the other players and   the referees
Infringements/Sanctions For any Infringements of this Law:
• the player at fault is instructed by the referee  to leave the playing area to correct their     equipment or to obtain any missing item of  equipment. The player may not return to the    playing area without first reporting to the referee,   who then checks that the player’s equipment is    correct. The player is only allowed to re-enter the    playing area when the ball is out of play • players can return to play whilst the ball is in play    if a second official has checked the equipment. If  no second official is present the player must wait    for play to stop in order for the referee to check    the faulty equipment.

LAW 5 The Referee

The Authority of the Referee Each game is controlled by a referee who has full authority to enforce the Laws of the Game in connection with the game to which they have been appointed, from the moment they enter the locality where the playing area is situated until they leave. Powers and Duties The Referee:
• enforces the Laws of the Game • allows play to continue when the team against  which an offence has been committed will benefit   from such an advantage, and penalises the  original offence if the anticipated advantage does   not ensue at that time • keeps a record of the match and provides the    appropriate authorities with a game report which    includes information on any disciplinary action  taken against players and/or team officials and    any other incidents which occur before, during or    after the game • acts as timekeeper • stops, suspends or terminates the game for any  infringement of the Laws or due to any kind of  outside interference • takes disciplinary action against players guilty of  cautionable, ‘sin bin’ and sending-off offences • takes action against team officials who fail to    conduct themselves in a responsible manner and  may, at their discretion, expel them from the    playing area and its immediate surrounds • ensures that no unauthorised persons enter the    playing area • stops the game if, in their opinion, upon injury  assessment a player is seriously injured and    ensures that they are removed from the   playing area • ensures any player bleeding from a wound leaves   the playing area
• allows play to continue until there is a stoppage   in play if a player is, in their opinion, only   slightly injured • ensures that any ball used meets the     requirements of Law 2 • make use of timed suspensions to exclude    temporarily players guilty of infringements of   the Laws • in the absence of a second official, the referee    should make excluded players aware of the end of   their period of suspension Decisions of the Referee The decisions of the referee regarding facts connected with play are final.

LAW 6 The Match Official

Duties The duties of the Match Official are to assist the referee in the control of the game in the  following areas:
• control of the substitution procedure, ensuring    that the player to be replaced has left the playing    area before the substitute is allowed to enter the    playing area • check the equipment of all the substitutes    entering the playing area • ensure that a player sent from the playing area    by the referee, to replace any missing or defective   equipment, is checked before being allowed back   on to the playing area • if a player has been removed from the playing    area by the referee to have a ‘blood injury’ treated,   the match official must ensure that the bleeding  has stopped before the player is allowed to   re-enter the playing area • keep a full record of the game details • act as the timekeeper for any player who has  been given a temporary suspension from   the game • report to the referee any misconduct by any of  the team players or officials in the technical /    bench / substitute area • carry out any other duties as requested by   the referee

LAW 7 The Duration of the Match

The duration of the match shall be divided between two and four equal periods of over 5 and up to 30 minutes each, subject to the following:

• allowance shall be made in either period for time    lost through stoppages as decided by the referee • the duration of any period shall be extended to    enable a penalty kick to be taken • between periods the interval shall not exceed five   minutes, except by consent of the Referee • competition rules may allow for a game to     be played in its entirety without any interval or    requirement to change ends
For games ending in a draw, competition rules may state provisions involving extra time or other procedures approved by the International FA Board to determine the winner of the game.

LAW 8 The Start and Restart of Play

Preliminaries The choice of ends is decided by the toss of a coin. The team winning the toss decides which goal it wishes to attack in the first period of the game.
The other team takes the kick-off to start the game. Kick-off A kick-off is a way of starting or restarting play:
• at the start of the game • after a goal has been scored • at the start of any period of the game • at the start of each period of extra time,   where applicable
A goal may be scored directly from the kick-off. Procedure • all players are in their own half of the playing area • the opponents of the team taking the kick-off are    at least 3m from the ball until it is in play • the ball is stationary on the centre mark • the referee gives a signal • the ball is in play when it is kicked and moves in    any direction • the kicker may not touch the ball a second time    until it has touched another player
After a team scores a goal, the other team takes the kick-off. Infringements/Sanctions If the kicker touches the ball for a second time before it has been touched by another player:
 
 • an indirect free kick is awarded to the opposing  team to be taken from the place where the  infringement occurred. For any other  infringement of the kick-off procedure, the kick-off   is retaken Drop Ball A drop ball is a way of restarting the game after a temporary stoppage. A goal cannot be scored directly from a drop ball situation.
If a dropped ball enters the goal without touching at least two players, play is restarted with;
• a goal kick if it enters the opponents’ goal • a corner kick if it enters the team’s goal
 Procedure The referee drops the ball at the place where it was located when play was stopped, unless it was in the goalkeeper’s possession, when the goalkeeper shall, at the referee’s signal; return the ball into play by dropping the ball from any point within the  Penalty Area.

Play restarts when the ball touches the ground.

Where barricades are in use and a drop ball is required, the referee shall drop the ball 2m from the barricade at the appropriate point.
 Infringements/Sanctions The ball is dropped again:

• if it is touched by a player before it makes contact   with the ground • if the ball leaves the playing area after it makes  contact with the ground, without a player     touching it

LAW 9 The Ball In and Out of Play

 The choice of ends is decided by the toss of a coin. The team winning the toss decides which goal it wishes to attack in the first period of the game.
The other team takes the kick-off to start the game. Kick-off A kick-off is a way of starting or restarting play:
• at the start of the game • after a goal has been scored • at the start of any period of the game • at the start of each period of extra time,   where applicable
A goal may be scored directly from the kick-off. Procedure • all players are in their own half of the playing area • the opponents of the team taking the kick-off are    at least 3m from the ball until it is in play • the ball is stationary on the centre mark • the referee gives a signal • the ball is in play when it is kicked and moves in    any direction • the kicker may not touch the ball a second time    until it has touched another player
After a team scores a goal, the other team takes the kick-off. Infringements/Sanctions If the kicker touches the ball for a second time before it has been touched by another player:

Ball Out of Play The ball is out of play when:

• it has wholly crossed the goal line or touch line,    whether on the ground or in the air • play has been stopped by the referee • when playing indoors, it hits the ceiling
 
Ball In Play The ball is in play at all other times including when:

• it rebounds from a goal post, the crossbar, or the    barricades onto the playing area • it rebounds from the referee when on the   playing area Decisions When a game is being played on an indoor playing area and the ball hits the ceiling, the game is restarted by an indirect free kick awarded to the opposing team to the one which last touched the ball.
The indirect free kick should be taken from the point at which the ball began to rise. Should this occur in the penalty area, the free kick should be taken 3m from the penalty area line nearest to where the offence was committed. The exception to this rule is when the ball hits the ceiling following a deliberate ‘save’ (as opposed to a clearance) by the goalkeeper. In this case teams should play on.
Height of Ball Restrictions A height restriction is set at a designated height of 6ft (1.83metres), above which an indirect free kick shall be awarded to the opposing team. The only exception to this is if the height of the crossbar exceeds 6ft, in which instance the height restriction is played to the height of the crossbar. If a height infringement occurs within the penalty area and is committed by the goalkeeper, an indirect free kick should be awarded 3m from the penalty area line nearest to where the offence took place.
The exception to this rule shall be when the ball rises above the designated height restriction resulting from a save or block performed by a goalkeeper. Play should continue in this circumstance. Should another player then play the ball whilst it is at a height above the designated height restriction, this will result in an indirect free kick to the opposing team.

LAW 10 Determining the Outcome of a Match

Goal Scored Except otherwise provided by these Laws, a goal is scored when the whole of the ball passes over the goal line, between the goalposts and under the crossbar, unless it has been thrown, carried or intentionally propelled by the hand or arm by a player of the attacking side. Under no circumstance is the goalkeeper from the attacking side allowed to score. If the goalkeeper does play the ball in to the opponents’ goal, play is restarted with a goal kick. Winning Team The team scoring the greater number of goals during a game is the winner. If both teams score an equal number of goals or if no goals are scored, the game  is drawn. Competition Rules For games ending in a draw, competition rules may state provisions involving extra time or other procedures to determine the winner of a game  (see p14). Kicks from the Penalty Mark Procedure Taking kicks from the penalty mark is a method of determining the winning team if competition rules require there to be a winning team after a match has been drawn. Procedure • the referee tosses a coin to choose the goal   at which the kicks will be taken • the referee tosses a coin and the team whose    captain wins the toss decides whether to take the   first or second kick • the referee keeps a record of the kicks   being taken

Competition Rules will determine the number of   kicks with the kicks taken as described hereafter:
• the kicks are taken alternately • the names of the players taking the kicks are    announced to the referee by the captains of   each team before the kicks from the penalty  mark are taken and must be among those  included on the list of players submitted before  the match. Only those players on the pitch at the  completion of the game are eligible to take part in  kicks from the Penalty Mark. Unless there is a  player in the ‘sin bin’ at the completion of the  game, in which case they are permitted   to participate • where a player(s) has been sent off by the  referee, the opposing team must reduce the  number of players to equalise the participants in    each team prior to the kicks from the Penalty    Mark commencing • if, before both teams have taken their designated    number of kicks, one has scored more goals than    the other could score, even if it were to complete    its designated number of kicks, no more kicks   are taken • if, after both teams have taken the designated  number of kicks, both have scored the same  number of goals, kicks continue to be taken in   the same order, until one team has scored one    goal more than the other from the same number    of kicks • any player who has been sent off may not take    part in the kicks from the penalty mark • any eligible player may change places with   the goalkeeper • only the eligible players and match officials are    permitted to remain on the pitch when kicks from   the penalty mark are taken • all players, except the player taking the kick and    the two goalkeepers, must remain in the opposite   half to that where the kicks are being taken • if a goalkeeper is injured during the kicks from the   penalty mark procedure, they may be replaced by   a substitute Procedures to Determine the Winner of a Match To determine the winner of a match, tied after fulltime, the following procedures or a combination of these procedures may be used:
• extra time • kicks from the penalty mark

Use of these procedures should be detailed in the competition rules.

LAW 11 Fouls and Misconduct

Fouls and misconduct are penalised as follows:

Direct Free Kick : A direct free kick is awarded to the opposing team if a player commits any of the following seven offences in a manner considered by the referee to be careless, reckless or using excessive force:
• kicks or attempts to kick an opponent • trips or attempts to trip an opponent • jumps at an opponent • charges an opponent, even with the shoulder • strikes or attempts to strike an opponent • pushes an opponent • tackles an opponent

A direct free kick is also awarded to the opposing team if a player commits any of the following offences:
• running • deliberately heading the ball • holds an opponent • spits at an opponent • slides in an attempt to play the ball when it    is being played or attempted to be played by an  opponent (sliding tackle).

Additionally no playing   from the floor is permitted • handles the ball deliberately, except for the    goalkeeper in their own penalty area • where barriers are in place, players are not    permitted to hold onto barriers to shield the   ball and should be penalised by the referee   for holding

A direct free kick is taken from the place where the infringement occurred.

Indirect Free Kick : An indirect free kick is awarded to the opposing team if a goalkeeper commits one of the following offences:
• touches or controls the ball with their hands or    feet, in the penalty area, for more than six seconds • receives the ball back directly from a team mate    to whom they have just passed the ball without  the ball having made contact with any other player • allows the ball to stop in a stationary position in    the penalty area without touching it for more   than six seconds • if a height infringement occurs within the penalty   area and is committed by the goalkeeper, an    indirect free kick should be awarded 3m from the  penalty area line nearest to where the offence    took place • the exception to this rule shall be when the ball  rises above the designated height restriction    resulting from a save or block performed by a  goalkeeper. Play should continue in this     circumstance unless the ball hits the roof when    play should be restarted with a drop ball. However,   should another player play the ball whilst it is at    a height above the designated height restriction,  this will result in an indirect free kick to the    opposing team • a goalkeeper exits their own penalty area

An indirect free kick is also awarded to the opposing team, to be taken from the place where the infringement occurred, if, in the opinion of the referee, a player:  plays in a dangerous manner • deliberately impedes the progress of an opponent   when the ball is not being played
 • prevents the goalkeeper from releasing the ball    from their hands • commits any other offence, not previously    mentioned in Law 12, for which play is stopped   to caution or dismiss a player

The indirect free kick is taken from the place where the infringement occurred, unless this was in the penalty area, in which case the indirect free kick is taken 3m from the penalty area line at the point nearest to where the infringement occurred. Disciplinary Sanctions The use of temporary time suspensions (‘sin bin’s) and the exclusion of a player arising from the issuing of a red card are the recommended disciplinary sanctions for use in walking football. Match officials should employ the use of temporary timed suspensions (blue cards) in all cases traditionally regarded as cautionable offences.

The options for a match official imposing disciplinary sanctions are therefore;
• player issued with a blue card and temporarily    suspended from play • player issued with a red card and permanently    excluded from play

 A blue card offence should always be accompanied by a temporary suspension from play.

The period of timed suspension in walking football shall be two minutes. The release of players from a temporary suspension should be at the direction of the Referee or a Match Official if one is available.
 
Temporary Timed Suspensions – Procedures A player temporarily suspended from play will be shown a blue card by the match official and informed that he/she shall be suspended from play for two minutes.
The player is obliged to leave the playing area and remain in a designated ‘‘sin bin’’ area for the required suspension time. Separate ‘‘sin bin’’ areas should be identified for each team. If no designated ‘‘sin bin’’ areas are provided, then suspended players should remain in the area where they can be seen by the referee and adjacent to team officials and substitutes.
A player will be informed as to the end of a period of suspension by the referee or match official and invited to rejoin the game. Where barricades are  used, the players must use the opening onto the playing area.

Temporary Timed Suspensions A player is shown the blue card and temporarily excluded from play if he/she commits any of the following offences:
C1 is guilty of unsporting behaviour
C2 shows dissent by word or action
C3 persistently infringes the Laws of the Game
C4 delays the restart of play
C5 fails to respect the required distance when play is restarted with a corner kick, kick-in, free kick or goal clearance.
C6 enters or re-enters the playing area without the referee’s permission or infringes the substitution procedure
C7 deliberately leaves the playing area without the referee’s permission outside of a substitution.

For any of these offences, an indirect free kick is awarded to the opposing team, to be taken from the place where the infringement occurred. If the offence was commits within the penalty area, the indirect free kick is taken 3m from the penalty area line at the place nearest to where the infringement occurred. Exception to the use of ‘Blue Cards’ and  Temporary Timed Suspensions The only exception to the use of ‘Blue Cards’ and Temporary Timed Suspensions is in facilities where, if a player is excluded for two minutes, they are unable to take up a position which is still in the eye line of the Referee but outside the boundaries of the pitch. This might be the case in an enclosed sports hall or in a complex of caged pitches. In such circumstances safety considerations requires the Referee to employ the use of yellow cards, with all players remaining on the pitch unless excluded permanently. In this situation normal disciplinary sanctions will apply after the game as per the competition rules. If 2 yellow cards are given to an individual, the player will be shown a red card and dismissed.

Sending-Off Offences A player is sent off and shown the red card if he/she commits any of the following offences:
1. S1 is guilty of serious foul play
2. S2 is guilty of violent conduct
3. S3 spits at an opponent or any other person
4. S4 denies the opposing team a goal or an  obvious goal-scoring opportunity by deliberately handling the ball (this does not apply to a    goalkeeper within their own penalty area)
5. S5 denies an obvious goal-scoring opportunity  to an opponent moving towards the player’s goal by an offence punishable by a free kick or   a penalty kick
6. S6 uses offensive, insulting or abusive language 7. S7receives a second blue/yellow card in the  same match
 
If play is stopped for a player to be sent from the playing area without having committed any additional infringement of the Laws, the game is restarted by an indirect free kick, awarded to the opposing team, to be taken at the place where the infringement occurred. However, if the offence is committed in the penalty area, the indirect free kick is taken 3m from the penalty area line at the place nearest to where the infringement occurred. Decisions A player who has been sent off may not take any further part in the game nor may he/she sit on the substitutes’ bench, where provided. Following a 2 minute time suspension after the sending-off incident, the offending team is allowed to replace the sent-off player with a substitute.

LAW 12 Free Kicks

Types of Free Kicks Free kicks are either direct or indirect.

For both direct and indirect free kicks, the ball must be stationary when the kick is taken and the kicker may not touch the ball a second time until it has touched another player.

The Direct Free Kick • if a direct free kick is kicked directly into the    opponents’ goal, a goal is awarded

The Indirect Free Kick • a goal can be scored only if the ball subsequently    touches another player before it enters the goal

Position of Free Kick • all opponents must be at least 3m from the ball    until it is in play • the ball is in play after it has been touched   or played

Infringements/Sanctions If, when a free kick is taken, an opponent is closer to the ball than the required distance:
• the kick is retaken
If, after the ball is in play, the kicker touches the ball a second time before it has touched another player:
• an indirect free kick is awarded to the opposing  team, taken from the place where the     infringement occurred
 
Signals Direct Free Kick:
• the referee keeps one arm horizontal, pointing in    the direction the kick has to be taken

Indirect Free Kick:
• the referee indicates an indirect free kick by    raising their arm above their head.
• they maintain their arm in that position until the  kick has been taken and the ball has touched    another player or goes out of play
 
LAW 13 The Penalty Kick

A penalty kick is awarded against a team which commits any of the following offences:
• a defending player enters their own penalty area • a goalkeeper commits any of the seven sending    off offences within their penalty area
A goal may be scored directly from a penalty kick.
Additional time is allowed for a penalty kick to be taken at the end of each period or at the end of each period of extra time. Position of the Ball and the Players The ball:
• is placed on the penalty mark
The player taking the penalty kick:
• is properly identified
The defending goalkeeper:
• remains on their goal line, facing the kicker,  between the goalposts, until the ball has   been kicked
The players other than the kicker are located:
• inside the pitch • outside the penalty area • behind or to the side of the penalty mark • at least 3m from the ball
Procedure • the player taking the penalty kicks the ball forward • they may not play the ball a second time until it    has touched another player • the ball is in play when it is kicked and   clearly moves • the player must take a maximum of one step    when making their run up
When a penalty kick is taken during the normal course of play, or time has been extended at halftime or full time to allow a penalty kick to be taken or retaken, a goal is awarded if, before passing the goalposts and under the crossbar:
• the ball touches either or both of the goalposts,    and/or the crossbar and/or the goalkeeper Infringements/Sanctions If any of the following situations occur:
A player of the defending team infringes this Law:
• the kick is retaken, only if a goal is not scored • the kick is not retaken if a goal is scored
A team-mate of the player taking the kick infringes this Law of the Game:
• the kick is retaken if a goal is scored • the kick is not retaken if a goal is not scored
The player taking the kick infringes this Law of the Game after the ball is in play:
• an indirect free kick is awarded to the opposing  team, the kick to be taken from the place where    the infringement occurred, unless this was in  the penalty area, in which case the indirect free    kick is taken 3m from the penalty area line at the    place nearest to where the infringement occurred

Outcome of the Penalty Kick:

Encroachment by attacking player : Goal - Penalty is retaken. No Goal -  Indirect free kick
Encroachment by defending player : Goal or Penalty is retaken if No Goal
Offence by goalkeeper : Goal or Penalty is retaken and caution for goalkeeper if No Goal
Ball kicked backwards : Indirect free kick
Illegal feinting : Indirect free kick and caution for kicker
Wrong kicker : Indirect free kick  and caution for wrong kicker

LAW 14 The Kick-In/Roll-In

A kick-in/roll-in is a method of restarting play.
A goal cannot be scored directly from a kick-in/roll-in.
A kick-in/roll-in is awarded:
• when the whole of the ball passes over a   touchline, either on the ground or in the air, or hits   the ceiling • from the place where it crossed the touch line or    2m into the playing area adjacent to where the  ball left the playing area when barricades are   in use • to the opponents of the player who last touched    the ball Position of the Ball and the Players The ball:
• has to be stationary on the touch line; or 2m into    the playing area from the barrier where barricades   are in use when taking a kick-in • is kicked into play in any direction
The player taking the kick-in/roll-in:
• has part of each foot either on the touch line or on   the ground outside the touch line at the moment    of kicking/rolling the ball; or • must stand between the ball and the barricade    where in use • must use an underarm action when rolling the   ball in
The players of the defending team:
• are at least 3m from the place where the kick-in   is taken
 
 
Procedure • the player taking the kick-in may not play the ball    a second time until it has touched another player • the ball is in play immediately after it is kicked   or touched Infringements/Sanctions The kick-in is retaken by a player of the opposing team if:
• the kick-in is taken incorrectly • the kick-in is taken from a position other than the  place where the ball passed over the touch line or  where indicated by the referee where barricades    are in use • an indirect free kick is awarded to the opposition  if the player taking the kick-in plays the ball a    second time before it has been played by   another player

LAW 15 The Goal Clearance

A goal clearance is a method of restarting play.
A goal may not be scored directly from a goal clearance.
The goal clearance is awarded when:
• the whole of the ball, having last touched a player   of the attacking team, passes over the goal line,    either on the ground or in the air, and a goal is not   scored in accordance with Law 10 Procedure • opponents remain outside the penalty area • the goalkeeper does not play the ball a second    time until it has touched another player • the ball is in play when the ball is thrown underarm  or kicked from any stationary point within the    penalty area by the goalkeeper of the   defending team Infringements/Sanctions If the ball is not thrown or kicked directly beyond the penalty area:
• the goal clearance is retaken
If, after the ball is in play, the goalkeeper touches the ball, before it has touched another player:
• an indirect free kick is awarded to the opposing    team 3m from the penalty area line from the place   nearest to where the infringement occurred

If the goalkeeper receives the ball from a team mate in open play the goalkeeper is permitted to touch the ball and to pick the ball up. After the goalkeeper has distributed the ball, he/she may only receive a pass if the ball has either touched an opponent or if the ball has been touched by at least two of the goalkeeper’s team mates, otherwise:
• an indirect free kick is awarded to the opposing  team, to be taken 3m from the penalty area   line from the place nearest to where the     infringement occurred
 
LAW 16 The Corner Kick

A corner kick is a method of restarting play.
A goal may be scored directly from a corner kick, but only against the opposing team.
A corner kick is awarded when:
• the whole of the ball, having last touched a player   of the defending team, passes over the goal line,    either on the ground or in the air, and a goal is not   scored in accordance with Law 10 Procedure • the ball is placed inside the corner arc at the    nearest corner • opponents remain at least 3m from the ball until it   is in play • the ball is kicked by a player of the attacking team • the ball is in play when it is kicked or touched • the kicker does not play the ball a second time  until it has been played by or touched   another player

LAW 17 Walking

Walking is defined as ‘always having at least one foot in contact with the ground’. Infringements/Sanctions The referee will award a direct free kick against any player who is seen to be not walking.
If a player is penalised on three occasions for infringing the walking rule, they receive a blue card and are ‘sin binned’ for duration of two minutes.
Infringements/Sanctions An indirect free kick is taken by the opposing team if:
• the player taking the corner kick plays the ball   a second time before it has been played by or  touched another player. The indirect free kick    is taken from the place where the   infringement occurred
For any other infringement:
• the corner kick is retaken
Where the playing area is surrounded by barricades, the corner kick is replaced by a kick-in at a point 2m inside the playing area at the corner nearest the point where the ball left the playing area.

Appendix A Notes on the Laws for Small  Sided Football – Modifications


Provided the principles of these laws are maintained, the Laws may be modified in their application for matches, including for players with disabilities as outlined below.
Any or all of the following modifications are permissible:
• size of the playing area • size, weight and material of the ball • width between the goalposts and height of the    crossbar from the ground • the duration of the periods of play • substitutions • number of designated penalties to be taken when   deciding the outcome of a game • Players are not permitted to hold onto barriers    when in place to shield the ball and should be    penalised by the referee for holding and a direct    free kick awarded.
 
Modifications to the laws should be detailed in the   competition regulations.